November 8th, 2009, 3:20pm

By MARION PIPER | Published: November 12, 2009

You were an afterthought one afternoon whilst I strolled across the sand. Down by the breakers, guarded by a Bushman, we embraced - your hands sliding behind my jawbone and into my sandy hair.

I love those moments of perfection that can never be replaced nor stolen, for they remind me of the possible and deny me my own bitterness.

What struck me as an odd behaviour turned out to be a sort of "arrangement": not spoken or implied, simply understood. I´ve never experienced such a touch, soaked in suntan lotion and rum, that held my breath for me as you inhaled my salty perfume.

I am not the proudest of people when it comes to being casual, and your defences firing on all cylinders warned me not to attach anything more to our union.

After trading life stories I came to know that this encounter could only last momentarily, each soldier on a different front, each army a different war.

I feel that this pocket of warmth has provided me with some clarity - I find myself a web of thoughts, a ball of wool tangled and old - my task is to now unwind the knots and clusters, to find the length of my yarn and use it to its potential. Left to my own devices I could find scissors to cut and bows to tie, but meeting people along the way gives me the time to decode the matrix and knit myself together.

As self indulgent as this trip can be, my soul becomes alight, entranced by the constant flux of life on a road with no barriers.

For all my philosophising and mindless idling, I am still fundamentally the same person: fighting for my right to follow no one nowhere for nothing by my own guided flight.


1. melindaread on December 11, 2009

Lovely and poetic. Thanks for publishing this!

2. Christine on February 26, 2010

This is so beautiful. It is sad, but I have thought about the "defenses firing on all cylinders" in relation to events in my own life, and it is such an appropriate description for what goes on in these "relationships". You have really inspired me, you have a wonderful way with words.

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